Can"Krod" Cut It?
My
interview with the cast and creators of
Comedy Central's
"KROD MANDOON AND
THE FLAMING SWORD OF FIRE"
(oh
.. and a review too! Sorry guys.)
by
Ty Drago
I want to love this show. I want it to be smart and innovative
and, above all, hilarious.
Sadly, it isn’t — at least not so far.
I interviewed the cast and creators at ComicCon 2009
in New York, about two months before the show’s April 9th premiere
on Comedy Central. As I sat there, listening to the parade
of interviews that came before mine, I witnessed a seemingly endless
litany of the same questions:
“What gave you the idea for Krod Mandoon?”
The one went to Brad Johnson and Peter Knight, the show’s producers.
The answer they gave was amusing and well-rehearsed. We’ll skip
it.
“What first attracted you to the role?” This
one went to the erstwhile Sean Maguire, star of Meet the Spartans,
one of your better over-the-top movie spoofs, and the young English
actor chosen to wear the mantle of the title character. His answer,
I’m sure, has been provided aplenty in other venues. Suffice it
to say that he delivered it with the patience and aplomb befitting an
experienced professional who, frankly, has been sadly overlooked.
“What’s it like playing a character who is
called upon to sleep with 300 men in one night?” This little gem,
asked by virtually every single interviewer (except me), was of course
directed at the lovely India de Beaufort, who plays Krod’s vivacious
Pagan girlfriend, Aneka. This young woman, far more gracious and demure
in person than her character would lead you to believe, fielded these
questions with a delicate reply about Aneka’s “free-spirited”
nature.
Suffering through this silliness being repeated, over
and over, for the better part of an hour, I made a promise to myself.
When my turn came, I’d shake things up just a little bit.
“In the seventies,” I told them, once I’d
gotten them alone in a room and safety into chairs against the wall,
“Mel Brooks produced a series called When Things Were
Rotten, which spoofed Robin Hood. It lasted one season. In
the eighties, a comedy-fantasy called Wizards and Warriors,
starring Jeff Conway, also lasted just one season. And, in the nineties,
Bruce Campbell’s The Adventure of Briscoe County Jr.
met the same fate.”
Their collective reaction was admirably stoic, except
for India, who asked with obvious dismay, “Are you saying we’re
condemned?”
“No!” I told her. “I’m asking
how you know you’re not?”
After all, the idea of producing a “high fantasy”
television serious isn’t exactly new. There have been several
disastrous attempts in the past — and a few successes. Sam Raimi’s
Hercules and Xena: Warrior Princess
come to mind. But those weren’t comedies. They were tongue-in-cheek
adventure series’. Krod, on the other hand, is playing it purely
for laughs.
And therein lay the challenge.
As to my question, it was finally answered by producer
Brad Johnson. "Anytime you make a character based on a parody,
a spoof, and there had been plenty of them, you never get invested in
them. It works in the movies. But on a weekly basis, you need to care
about the characters. We went out of our way not to make this a spoof.
You could take away everything and look at this [show] like a workplace
comedy. In no way is this a spoof."
I thought long and hard about that claim. I’ve since
seen five episodes of the show, every episode, in fact, that’s
been televised since its premier. I’ve come to the conclusion
that Johnson is right: Krod Mandoon is not a spoof.
It lacks most of the fundamentals of parody: character mimicry, irony,
exaggeration of familiar elements for comedic effect, and so on. Instead,
it presents its joke-laden storyline more or less straight, paying homage
to no one — truly encapsulated with its own world.
Co-producer Peter Knight had this to say: "If you're looking for
the example of why we're not 'condemned' … it's Get Smart,
which is such an important show for me. There was real jeopardy on that
show. And Max, yeah he was a bungler. But when he needed to get shit
done, he was a pretty good shot! But there were times when he was in
trouble and you were worried about him. If people want to paint us with
the word ‘spoof’, I just ask that you dip the brush in the
can from 1967 and not from the spoofs today, which it is more like …
"Meet the Spartans?" I asked.
It may have come off as a little smart-ass.
My point was this: Meet the Spartans, which also starred
Sean Maguire, was a spoof — of the blockbuster movie
300. The humor was heavy-handed and often over-the-top.
But the underlying parody was both accurate and cutting. It took everything
that was oh-so-serious about its subject film, turned it around, bent
it over, and kicked it in the ass.
And it had great fun with the “Pit of Death.”
A spoof, indeed.
And so, of course, was Get Smart. Like Mr. Knight,
this early Mel Brooks and Buck Henry classic is one of my all time favorite
shows. But it was a spoof! It lampooned Bond films, Mission
Impossible, I Spy, The Avengers,
and pretty much every other “Us versus Them” Cold War action
series of the period. It worked because it was parody, but with characters
strong enough to engage and likeable enough to endear.
"I didn't want to make something with those [Meet
the Spartan's] elements,” Sean Maguire insisted. “I wanted
to make something that could stand on its own. If you want people to
come back week after week, it really has to be a group of four people
or six people that you'd want to hang out with for half-an-hour. There
have to be characters on the [screen] that you can love and you can
wish and hope for."
He’s absolutely correct. That connection between characters and
audience has been the formula for television success since before Howdy
Doody.
But equally important is the connection between the characters and each
other.
And that, I’m very sorry to say, is where Krod Mandoon
falls short.
So far, the only real chemistry I’ve found in the
show is between the chief villains, the wickedly bald Chancellor Dongalor
(love the name!), played by the absolutely brilliant Matt Lucas, and
Alex MacQueen, as Dongalor’s competent, inexplicably loyal toady
with the Dutch boy haircut, Barnabos. The scenes when these two are
alone on camera are — so far — the only time I’ve
laughed aloud during a given thirty minute episode. They play off each
other beautifully, with the timing of an old Vaudevillian comedy duo.
Even their outrageous accents compliment one another.
Krod and Aneka, I’m afraid, don’t fair as
well. For a couple that’s apparently been together for some time,
they don’t seem all that familiar with one another. True, their
relationship broke up after the second episode (much to Krod’s
dismay), but they still fight side-by-side against the forces of evil.
I keep hoping to see a spark of connection between them, such as Aneka
finishing one of Krod’s sentences, or offering him a food or drink
that she knows he especially likes, and then kicking herself for knowing
the guy better than she might care to admit.
As for the other three members of Krod’s rebel band?
Well, there’s Kevin Hart as the inept wizard Zezelryck, Steve
Speirs as the pig-faced Loquesto, and Marques Ray as the flamingly gay
Bruce, grieving lover of Krod’s late commander and personal hero.
So far they’re vaguely amusing at best and, at worst,
annoying.
God, I really hate having to say all this, especially
since Knight and Johnson evidently have a very different take on things.
“You can worry a little bit when [Krod and his crew]
get into a scrape, and relax a little bit when your hero is doing the
things he's supposed to be doing,” Knight told me. “You
can have those emotions, whereas in [Robin Hood:] Men in Tights,
you can't. The second you say 'lend me your ears' and they throw their
ears at you, you've just dared [the audience] not to care. Never dare
the audience not to care."
And Johnson added, "Relatability was the hardest
thing for me when I got into this because I'm not a genre fan, and so
I said: let's find something that’s relatable about these characters.
Krod has a lot of modern male insecurities. He's crippled with a terrible
band of freedom fighters … but he's loyal to them. He can't fire
anybody. He loves them and, as a result, they kind of bring him down
and make his job harder. But you love him for not firing them. And I
think we do root for them. Maybe not on their missions, but certainly
in their lives.”
Then, a little petulantly I thought, he concluded with,
“So, that’s why I think we’re not ‘condemned’.”
I believe maybe I got his hackles up. Well, it was an
interview — and that’s exactly what I was trying to do.
Clearly, there’s a lot of creative passion here.
Some of it even makes its way onto the screen. The show is filmed on
location in Hungary, and the outdoor shots are gorgeous — though
the indoor ones tend to smack a bit too heavily of stage setting. At
times, Krod and his gang ride across colorful vistas on fast horses.
This, in itself, is rather innovative. After all, how many sit-coms
with horses have you seen? A lot of effort (and money) is going into
this show.
And much of the writing is actually quite good, when it
doesn’t descend into easy laughs like crude fart gags and sex
jokes. I realize this is Comedy Central, but that doesn’t
mean Krod Mandoon has to try to be the next South
Park.
Peter Knight said, “When I wrote the first version
of [Krod Mandoon], I did something I'd never done before.
I didn't tell people what I was working on. I just started writing it,
and it was this crazy thing to write! I mean there was this fantasy
world and this character and his pagan girlfriend. But I love it! I
would tell myself 'do this right, and this will be a show that people
will remember. One of the truly distinctive shows of all time.' And
I feel in my heart that [Krod] can be somebody's favorite show."
And if the show does succeed? What then? Is the cast of
Krod Mandoon ready for the rigors of fandom?
"Sean has been at this for many years and is definitely
a veteran,” India de Beaufort explained. “But it's all very
new to me. When we're making [the show], you kind of forget that you’re
making it for anyone else. We just felt like we were doing this for
us and having a great time, and you forget that there's a bigger world
out there. So when I started getting asked for interviews and people
were having magazine shoots, it was that realization that hopefully
a lot of people will see this … and they're either going to love
it or they're going to hate it. We don't know where it's going to go.
I hope it goes in a good direction and helps me in my career and [helps
me] continue to do the things I love. But either way, I'll always be
glad for the experiences I've had and the people I've met."
To which Brad Johnson added, somewhat wistfully, “You know, when
we wrote this, it was in a kind of isolated vacuum. It was two guys
in Pasadena trying to come up with something that was entertaining to
us. One of the things we said was: wouldn't be cool to someday go to
ComicCon if this thing actually got shot?”
Well, they made it to ComicCon 2009. The next NY ComicCon
will be held in October of 2010. I wonder if, by then, Krod
Mandoon will still be with us, or if it’ll have gone
the way of When Things Were Rotten, Wizards
and Warriors, and Brisco County Jr.
Toward the end of the interview, India de Beaufort asked
me, “Did you like it when you saw the trailer?”
I did like it and I said so. In fact, I loved the trailer.
I only wish the show were living up to the promise that I saw there.
Sean Maguire put it best, I think. "We wanted to
make something that had the potential to last a lot longer than some
of the other shows … We just wanted to make something good. I
can't speak for everyone, but I would like to make something that still
entertains people long after we're gone. "
And nothing would please me more than to see Krod
Mandoon and the Flaming Sword of Fire succeed. I like the show,
and I especially like the idea of the show. I even like most
of the elements of the show. But, so far, those elements just aren’t
meshing, and after every episode I’m coming away with a feeling
of letdown.
Maybe, as I proposed earlier, Brad Johnson is right. Maybe
Krod Mandoon isn’t a spoof. Well, then what is
it? A fantasy-comedy? A workplace sit-com with a twist? I’m sorry
to say that I don’t know, and I’m not sure the show knows
either.
And if they don’t find out soon, India, I’m
deeply afraid that — yes — it is condemned.
Prove me wrong guys.
Please.
(L to R): India
de Beaufort (Aneka), Me, Peter Knight (Producer), Sean Maguire (Krod
Mandoon), and Brad Johnson (Producer). Forgive me, guys.
Original
Fiction
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If
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"Ain't
Gonna Dig No More"
by J.C. Tabler
“Still talking to tombstones, Cyrus? Got yourself
an answer yet?” intoned bass rumbles above, tanned hand reaching
into flickering lantern light in an offer of help. No need to look up,
only one voice seemed to boil from deep inside mountains, to shake the
trees and hills. Gnarled, calloused skin brushed cool, smooth flesh,
clasped tightly and pulled as Cyrus lifted himself out of a barely begun
resting place and onto firm ground.
“Not much else in the way of company around these parts, not like
down in the Big Easy when folks liked to hop fences and wander boneyards
at night,” Cyrus responded.
"The
Intervention "
by Michael Andreoni
“Then you may think of me as a sunbeam, Ms Gifford,
come to dance for you. It is close enough to the truth for our purposes.
We are beings of aggregated light photons. I am vibrating at a wavelength
visible to you at the moment but shielded from your pet and others.
I am here for you, but not for your dog.”
Well, it really is true, she mused, you live long enough,
you see everything.
“A sunbeam,” she repeated. “You don’t
look like a sunbeam. You look like a little green man.”
"Landfill
of Wingless Children"
by Jennifer Linnaea
Another infant fell from the sky this morning. My team almost didn't
get there in time to save him. Like the others he has tiny, stunted
wings on his back – I guess the folk up there in the flying tree
didn't want him
.
In my grandparents' day one baby per generation fell, or maybe fewer.
This spring there have been five already, and even with all our nets
and watchers we barely got them all.
"Mortar
Attack "
by Adam Armstrong
While Dan struggled to come up with a fresh turn of
phrase, Joel was making a move. Dan felt a cold burning in his chest.
Looking up, he saw a scalpel in Joel’s hand. Looking down, he
saw a huge open grin on his chest.
“Ouch,” said Dan, “that really fucking hurts. I mean
it man.” He covered over the wound with his hands. He glanced
down again and something strange happened. The grin sealed itself shut
leaving just a dark trace of where it had been.
He looked up at Joel and said: “Vampires heal quickly.”
That, was just awful, but it crept out with some measure of authority.
"The
Kindness of Strangers"
by Martin Turton
“What makes you think we need your help, Ragnar?”
“Seventeen dead geradin children, for one thing.” I thought
of the dead youngsters out on the red mountains, tortured and staked
to the ground. My anger should have been real. And yet my sharp words
were an act, a delicate dance in getting the upper hand over this aging
cop on this shit-pot world. Before Ravelle had a chance to respond,
I produced a letter from the breast pocket of my suit, “and this
gives me the right.” I watched him carefully as he read. No response.
Impressive.
"Signs
over the Pacific"
by RJ Astruc
“How I know you’re her brother? I’m a psychic,”
says the fortune teller, once she’s counted out her takings and
found them satisfactory. “You got any other questions?”
Val grins despite himself. “Just the usual. What’s my future
hold?”
“Lot of things. Love. Life. Death.” But she pauses on the
last, a faintest frown creasing her brow. Sweat beads her hairline.
“I got to tell you this, you got to go with what you know. You
got something big to do at the End of the World, boy. You got to make
connections, to see reflections. Everything happens for a reason.”
"Pit
Stop "
by Philip Roberts
There were questions to ask, but Ron didn’t need the details
to understand the answers to them. Ron could see it in Mike’s
eyes when he turned back to face him.
“Is it money you want?” Ron asked. No, Mike’s eyes
told him, it wasn’t money
they were after.
“You have kids?” Bill asked him. The gun was out now, held
tightly to his side as he walked up to Mike. Ron managed to nod. “Well
I have a kid myself, you see, but I bet he isn’t like your kids.
No one’s like that boy. My boy has special needs. I’m not
happy about doing this, but some things need to be done.”
"Throwin'
Dem Bones"
by AJ Brown
"What's 'a matter, yah bones hurtin'?" Skelli asked.
"Just a tad—old arthritis, I guess." Mr. Jingles rubbed
his carpals, metacarpals and phalanges, trying to soothe the pain in
each joint. He rolled his neck and several vertebrate popped. "You
would think the rheumatism would have gone away at death, huh? Nope.
It's just as bad now as it was when I was a livin' man."
"How's yah throwin' arm?"
Mr. Jingles rotated his shoulder and bent his elbow before giving a
clattery shrug.
"Okay, I guess."
"Than yah should throw. What 'ave yah got to lose?"
"Only my bones, I guess."
Staff
Showcase
This
is a new section set aside to present some of the creative works of
the ALLEGORY staff - yours truly included. These are, of course, unpaid
contributions and are presented here for your consideration with both
pride and humility.
Enjoy!
"Samaritan"
by Ty Drago
He called himself Samaritan, and he came here often. This isolated
bridge frequently attracted the lonely and the desperate people he
sought. So he strolled across it, back and forth...all night sometimes...watching
for them.
This was his mission.
Tonight, on his second pass he was rewarded. A man stood beside the
walkway, leaning out over the river, balancing precariously on one
of the diagonal supports.
Another one, he thought.
Honorable
Mentions
Allegory deals with submissions in
the way that, as far as I know, remains fairly unique in the publishing
world. Each story is individually reviewed and, if considered publishable,
is placed in our "Maybe" pile. At the end of each submission
period, these "Maybes" are reviewed, and the best eight chosen
to appear in the next issue. This final cut is made on the basis of
issue balance, and does NOT reflect the overall quality of these stories.
That said, here - in no particular order - are the "Maybes"
who just missed publication in Allegory. Each one is
a fine tale that we would have been proud to publish. Remember these
names, friends and fellows. You'll be hearing from them in the future.
I guarantee it!
"This Tour Don't Roll Through Seattle"
by Barry Napier
"Sand Honey" by Daniel Ausema
"Nomed's Button" by David Korinetz
"Doppleganger" by Derek Ivan Webster
"The Words That Make the City" by Fredrick
Obermeyer
"Grace on the Highway" by Jack Downs
"Matchsticks" by Jaelithe Ingold
"Hunted Brigade" by Kevin Carlson
"Safe & Sound" by Kevin McClintock
"Rowling in the Year 3000" by Kassidy Kabza
"Raiders of the Ballot Box" by Larry Hodges
"Frankie's Prayers" by Loretta Giacoletto
"Integrity, Service, Reliability" by Matthew
Carey
"Link" by Matthew Howe
"The Inevitable Price" by Michael Fosburg
"Child of the Curse" by Ariel J. Schaub
"Love Like Rotting Meat" by Michele Lee Freel
"Greening" by Bethany Belding
"17Hz" by Spenser Koelle
"The Last Village" by S.A. Bolich
